The monsoon of 2011 has been a turbulent season. Well, not so much with the amount of rains lashing the beautiful landscape of southern part of Karnataka, but with me in particular. It has been a little over six months since I got back from the Promised Land. Promises that were made were kept truthfully. I should have asked for more. Rookie mistake I suppose.
As Varuna sprinkles our holy land with blessings and the rain clouds glide over the mighty Western Ghats and sweep the rugged plains of the Deccan Plateau, I cannot help but reflect over the happenings in the last half year or so. I got what I wanted. What I wanted was to be back in India and here I am. But, I am confused: as confused as a monkey with a coconut. (No offence monkeys, in case one of you is reading this. To humans, no pun intended) I know I’ve got something good, I just don’t know what to do with it, yet. However, with the passing clouds overhead and the occasional peep the Sun is stealing, it seems indeed that the ‘dark cloud’ is moving on.
While it may seem grossly brazen, allow me to change the subject to something more with a human touch. As an undergraduate student, I always dreamt of wearing formal clothes, donning shiny shoes and having formal dinner conversations while sipping champagne. Some of these came true. I also couldn’t wait to get out of my parents’ house and live an ‘independent’ life. Many ideas, if not all, around me seemed imposing, anachronistic and plainly meaningless. It has been 40 months since and I now stand corrected. Before you opine, let me agree with you that writing about family bonds would be merely epitomizing what comes naturally to most of us. However, what I wish to express is much beyond that.
The idea of an independent life is rather convoluted. Man cannot be independent. Acceptance is the basic need of a human being and in desiring that, he must shed the charade of calling himself independent. Owing to certain incidents with me and people around me, I have come to realize the importance of a family. I also realize that money is an important, if not vital, requirement of our lives. Once when my colleague equated, what she called the ‘greed’ of money with vice, I felt violated and amused at the same time. Lets not talk about that or my best bud Bruce, aka Karthik, wouldn’t be pleased. If his words are to be believed, when the topic is money, I turn into a monster, with red slits for eyes and fire for breath and drooling greed all over the place. I’m lucky I don’t believe him.
To continue what I started, today, I crave to spend a few days with my family. So, recently when I bumped into an opportunity to spend some time at home, I called my dad pronto and planned a road trip. A little father and son time on the country roads. 13 hours on the never ending spectacular SH17 of Karnataka and NH7 between Bangalore and Hyderabad (I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I drive slow). That is definitely something that I’m looking forward to and without a doubt, something that I will cherish my whole life. The last time I was on this road, the emotions were mixed. It was my first major drive in India and also, I was driving away from home after a 9-day stay. The drive back to Hyderabad in August is especially close to my heart for multiple reasons. Firstly, it will be dad and I, and then, its the drive that leads me straight home, and lastly, I get to spend some time at home after the long and arduous journey.
The degree to which I am excited or desperate about spending time at home surprises me mildly. This wasn’t how it was even during the initial days, when as a ground rule, kids miss home the first time they get out. The scariest part is even these once-in-a-coupla-months meetings are not forever. I have only just started realizing the importance of things around me and while I was under the banyan tree with a halo around my head, it struck me I was a quarter-century old and I’d better get my act together if I wanted something done the way I want it to be done.
I always thought breaking away from the monotonous is wonderful and yet extremely difficult given the comfort zone we develop around it. However, I have been lucky in getting an opportunity to work with a colleague who came, saw, and went soaring after his dreams belittling my already restricted ideas. And that moment set my dreams free. Aaah, the dreams! Aren’t they the best! Dreams that you see in sleep aren’t real, but the dreams that don’t let you sleep at night are the real deal.
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